If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
