you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
