It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
