69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
