sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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