Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Randomize
