There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
