used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
