she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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