I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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