please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just gift wrapped bread.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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