Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
