I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
