people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
MIDGETS
????
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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