We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
