i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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