Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
