YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
