What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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