help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I puked a lego.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
