You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
