soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
