I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize