I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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