I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
