I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
