Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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