Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
