your room smells of hookers.
And success
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
