Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
