I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
