No awkward lesbian experiences without me
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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