Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
