we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You did what with his pubic hair?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
