please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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