I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
