i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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