Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
