he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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