He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
well you can't waste a boner
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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