What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I am naked and annoyed.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
