sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
