yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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