I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
