I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Alive.
So much puke
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
