The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
