Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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