Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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