I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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