Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
